From now, I’m going to be posting about Edith’s letters on their centenary. All letters are written by Edith to Freddy unless otherwise noted.

[Date: Tuesday 11^th July 1922]

Darlint Pal,

I dont think Ive got anything to tell you just the ordinary things that happen every day & I somehow dont think you want me to talk to you about those: I went to Henley last Thursday – with the Waldorf man – I previously had the invitation but refused on the plea of business but on the Tuesday night Mr Carlton asked me if Id like Thursday off so I rang up & made arrangements to go. We got there about 12.30 and had lunch at Phyllis Court at the invitation of an M.P. Mr Stanley Baldwin – it poured with rain all the afternoon & was altogether miserable – I got home by 6.45 p.m.

It wasnt the same sort of ill feeling that it was at the time before tho.

On Saturday we go for our holiday: Shall I call it? It wont be what I anticipated will it no swimming lessons or tennis or anything that Id really enjoy. However I must make the best of it & dance – Im so tired of it all tho – this dancing and pretending.

I’ve not packed my peach sports coat: I dont want to wear it this time – so Ive left it behind.

This is the last day for posting mail to Fremantle & Ive not had your promised letter from Aden.

If it is at the G.P.O. lunch time – perhaps I’ll have some more to talk to you about before I post this.

I’ll leave it for a little while anyway.

Avis has just been round here & I was in the office having a brandy & soda with Mr. Carlton; he asked her to have one too – I think she feels very flattered: am I horrid I really believe I am – tell me – but everything in this world seems so topsy turvy – Id give anything to be her – free I mean & I think she’d change places with me this minute if we could – but we cant – so I mustn’t moan it’ll become a habit.

By the way I told you about Molly & Mr. Derry.

I think it was Tuesday he said to me ‘So you know that young lady I was talking to the other morning?’

Me: No, I don’t know her.

He: But she knows you & a lot about you.

Me: Oh probably: lots of people know me & about me that I’d rather not know.

He: I believe you’re jealous.

Darlint, just try & imagine me being jealous of her talking to him of all people. I have to laugh right out loud when I think about it. Some men have such a high opinion of themselves & their charms that I’m afraid I cant climb up to them.

I wonder what ‘my own pal’ is doing now & how he is feeling – when I try & contrast my feelings of going away this year to those of going away last year [when they went to Shanklin] – I really wonder if Im living in the same world – I suppose I am – but its not the same world to me darlint – that world last year didnt contain a pal – just one only, to whom I need to not wear a mask – but this year does – altho he is still so very far away that I go on wearing that mask to everyone I meet – every day – I wonder if there ever will be a time when I shall appear as I really am – only you see me as I really am – the ‘pretence me’ is my ordinary every day wearing apparel the ‘real’ me is only visible for such a very short time when you’re in London Darlingest Boy – I cant bear to think of you being in England and not seeing me – must we be so very strict & stern – cant you imagine what your only pal (no, not pal – Im talking to you darlint as the girl that loves you, Im talking to my veriest own lover & not as to a pal) will feel like knowing youre in London, & expecting to see you at every turn & really knowing deep down in her heart that she wont. Must you be so cruel darlint? See me once – for one whole day together for all that time & I wont mind if I dont see you any more the whole time you are in London I cant bear it if you go away without seeing me again – nearly 4 more months after September – that makes it January 1923 its too long to wait Darlint – too much to ask of any human being – especially is it too much to ask of you and I – we’re not ordinary human beings – we’re apart – different – we’ve never known pleasure – real pleasure I mean in anothers company – until we knew each other – we’ve had so few pleasures – & so many rebuffs – every one that is added now makes it harder.

Am I selfish? No, I don’t think its a selfish feeling cos its for both of us – Im fighting for our rights to break down that reserve that you’re going to build up against yourself & between

PEIDI.