Last night I had a minor crisis. I’ve just finished uni and I don’t yet have a job. In fact I have never had a job. This is entirely my own fault and, I now realise, possibly the stupidest decision I’ve ever made. I have very little to show for three of the summers since I left school (we don’t count two in the middle of uni because covid got in the way).

This summer I am trying to be better and apply for jobs but I haven’t had any luck so far. I’m also going to try and get some voluntary experience at something (which I have previously dabbled in).

Anyway, this not having a job made me feel utterly stupid and useless and I’ve been having a bad day since. I’ve been flicking through Matt Haig’s The Comfort Book and read something reassuring (paraphrase):

When you were born, you had value just for being alive, why should that change as you get older and try to meet society’s expectations?

Another page had some songs on that he finds calming, so I thought I’d do that. Well, these at least make me feel better, if not calm per say. They’re all instrumental pieces with no lyrics, because sometimes I put too much weight on words and it just makes me more anxious. Also, I don’t know your personal music taste, but I think, by and large, everyone likes instrumental music.

Prologue – Disney’s Beauty and the Beast (this has narration)

Cannon in D – Johann Pachelbel

The Wicked Flee – Carter Burwell (from True Grit)

The Girl from the Restaurant – Tommy’s Honour Soundtrack (Christian Henson)

Arrival of the Birds – The Cinematic Orchestra

The Piano Duet – Corpse Bride Soundtrack (Danny Elfman)

Rose – James Horner

An Ocean of Memories – James Horner

The Portrait – James Horner (for these three just look up the Titanic soundtrack)

I also have three sayings, for life in general.

What’s done is done, what will come will come. This one is particularly helpful now because I reminds me that I can’t change things, even if I want to with all the will in the world.

Something is better than nothing. This is also very current, because it reminds that what I’ve got is worth something, and what I’m planning to do will also be worth something.

Make each day count. (Yes, I got this from Titanic). This has been my mantra for years. Thanks Jack Dawson for the life tip. I don’t regard this as meaning you have to accopmlish something every day, although that might be a good way to look at it. I don’t know about you, but most of my regular days aren’t memorable, so my advice is, if you can make a day memorable, do it. Even if it’s just texting a friend, then you might have a conversation that’ll make you laugh five years from now. If you’re having one of those days where you don’t want to do anything (and trust me, I’ve had those) then just do something that brings you joy. When I’m finding things tough, I like to watch a favourite film. Today, if you made things count by watching a favourite film or reading a favourite book, that’s okay.

If you have something you need to do you don’t feel up to, then allot some time. Either give yourself some time to do nothing/whatever you feel up to (I spent two hours watching YouTube videos, at which point I then felt up to looking for jobs) after which point, you tackle the task, or give yourself a certain amount of time to spend on that task, you might even find you exceed your target once you start.

My number one piece of advice is, whatever you need to do, however long for, start as soon as you can because then you won’t look back at reams of empty time like I’m doing now. I’ve applied for three jobs today. It took me an hour, if that, but I did it, so I feel like I’ve accomplished something, and something is better than nothing.

Now I’m going to go and do some baking, I need brownies.

Hope this helped, it’s made me feel better.

T.H.E.