Hi all,

The other day I concluded that I am a hamster on a wheel and at some point, either the wheel is going to break, or I am going to fly off it. I don’t know what either of these outcomes would literally involve, I just know I’m tired and frustrated because I don’t know what I’m doing.

Unfortunately, the fact that I failed Maths in school is holding me back, so I might just have to undertake a redo of that regardless of my specific career goals. I could go into teaching, which would require another year of study on top of the Maths, but I don’t think I can face it.

I am no longer doing a PhD – or at least, not any time soon.

I’m still trying to write. My novels are now plays and I actually managed to complete a draft of the first one. I’m also trying to begin a Siegfried Sassoon biography but just saying that feels pretentious. Not that Sassoon is pretentious, I just feel pretentious saying I’m trying to write a biography. Even though I have in fact already done that. See, my own brain hates me. (Yes, it sucks).

However, I suppose the regular work on Sassoon could form the basis for a series of blog posts so, silver linings.

I am in fact a very negative person, I just try not to express it because it doesn’t really help anyone. I am trying to be more positive generally in life but being positive whilst confused and unemployed is proving tough.

Other than spending time with friends (including at a folk night where I actually performed for the first time (singing my favourite ballad, here is a link to my favourite version: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PCkpXjChqMA&list=PL5IUxQ5257MmbOfGk5kZPuuU8YvJ_r8IZ&index=46 ), the most exciting thing to happen this week has been that I bought The Collected Poems of J.R.R. Tolkien (in three volumes).

I don’t really take photos, but I appreciate that blogs without photos can be kind of empty, so here is a picture (not taken by me) of my dog. (She is the best girl).